Roadrage.Domesticviolence.ProfessionallyangryTVandradiocommentators.We’reasocietythatisswimminginanger,alwaysabouttosnap.LeonardScheff,atrialattorney,onceusedangertofuelhiscourtpersona,untilhecametorealizejusthowpoisonousangeris.ThatandhisintensestudyofBuddhismandmeditationchangedhim.Histransformationcanbesummarizedinasimpleparable:Imagineyouarecirclingacrowdedparkinglotwhen,justasyouspotaspace,anotherdriverracesaheadandtakesit.Easytoimaginetherage.Butnowimaginethatinsteadofanotherdriver,acowhaslumberedintothatparkingspaceandsettleddown.Theangerdissolvesintobemusement.Whatreallychanged?You-yourperspective.UsingsimpleBuddhistprinciplesandapplyingtheminawaythatiseasyfornon-Buddhiststounderstandandputintopractice,ScheffandEdmistonhavecreatedaninteractivebookthathelpsreaderschangeperspective,stepbystep,sothattheycanreplacetheangerintheirliveswithanewfoundhappiness.BasedonthesuccessfulangermanagementprogramScheffcreated,TheCowintheParkingLotshowshowangerisbasedonunmetdemands,andintroducesthefourmostcommontypes-ImportantandReasonable(youwantlovefromyourpartner);ReasonablebutUnimportant(youdidn’tgetthatseatintherestaurantwindow);Irrational(youwantrespectfromastranger);andtheImpossible(youwantsomeonetofixeverythingwronginyourlife).ScheffandEdmistonshowhow,onceweidentifyourrealunmetdemandswecandissolvetheanger;how,onceweunderstandour“buttons,“wecanchangewhathappenswhenthey’repushed.Heshowshowtolaughatourselves-apowerfulearlystepinchangingangrybehavior.Bytheend,asthereadercontinuestoobserveandfillintheexerciseshonestly,itwon’tmatterwhotakesthatparkingspace-onlyyoucanmakeyourselfangry.
